The gods say, when you really want to do something, just do it. You have to go with your heart.

Winter brings changes...

I cut bangs.

Funny how such an seemingly simple decision can be so monumental.
It took so long to make. Only when I decided not to cut off 10 inches to donate to the kids with cancer could I make the appointment. (Sorry kids.) Then I gave the lady at the shop a hard time when I didn't immediately like the looks of it. Not a really hard time, I just made a sad face. Then she helped me out the best she could- she straightened it with a flat iron, blew dry the rest of it, added more layers, and then curled it all up like a movie star. It looked beautiful! I am so lucky to have such beautiful hair. Maybe that's the lesson in all this. Appreciate what you have and make the most of it. Take risks.

While she was cutting, I asked her how she decided to open a beauty salon. She told me she had always wanted one, and went to beauty school for it. When she was 16, she started cutting hair out of her parents' house. She started making more money than her father did. And now, she's been the owner of Rozina's for 10 years.

She told me, "The gods say, when you really want to do something, just do it. You have to go with your heart."

Like cutting bangs, or opening your own beauty salon.

1st october

The weather is changing here.

It's October first and as if on cue, the air seems drier, stretched thinner. The light is wavering between the heavy thickness of summer humidity but leaning towards the ether it becomes towards Christmas.

It's the little changes we have to savor in Los Angeles.

There's an autumn smell in the air, and the sun beats warm on my back.

I wonder what it'd be like to live in a place that actually gets cold.

Last year at this time I was packing, (at least mentally) ecstatic and rolling in golden waves of success, freshly graduated and looking forwards to the (one of many) trip of a lifetime!

Packing packing packing. Want to be packing. Want to be planning.
This year it's different.
I wonder what opportunities tomorrow will bring. Summer was grand. It's time to continue forward.

30 september

It's my birthday!

It's the day that always made me hold my breath just a little bit, in expectation of what goodies lay in wait...
A day for surprises, friends, family, birthday cake and everybody singing for you!
It's the ultimate in ego-satisfying self-gratification, excusable and unashamed!

September 30th- the day I made my mom a mother, the day I waited for all year, and it was always over so quick.

It's a day of fall colors, of school beginning, it feels as much a part of my identity as my name...

And it's today!

It doesn't matter what I did, or what I'm doing... What matter is where I am and where I'm going... Does that make sense? What I mean is, I worked today, and I'm fulfilling obligations I made in accordance with my plans and beliefs, which means I am not necessarily engaging in a hedonistic release of all responsibility, just because today is my birthday. Which is to say, I am completely happy with the choices I've made, and the obligations I've chosen to saddle myself with, and to be able to perform them all on my birthday is a delicious honor. I am so lucky to have these options, to have the freedom to work, to live, and to spend EVERY day as if it were my birthday...

Anacapa Island and... Inspiration Point!

So, I went on a camping trip last weekend-
It was one of those memorable times, when you meet people and have experiences that make you wish you never had to return to reality.
(Although, awesomely, reality really ISN"T so bad these days!!!)
But this was a trip that like a dream, settles in your memory like fine dust, tainting everything you do with a veil of giddy remembrances.
So what do I remember?
The boat out of Oxnard delayed 5 hours before we even left the dock... and subsequently getting to know my fellow campers over a pitcher before noon!
and then Laura falling in when we were loading the boat...
Climbing up the 150 stairs and quarter of a mile hike to the campground with two cases of 2.5 gallons of water and a cooler full of Tecate- (and some food)... Multiple times!
Accompanying my tent-mates as they carried out a midnight plan of water balloon ambushing complete with home made "3-man launching device."
Waking up at 5am to see the sunrise.
Waking up the next morning at 5am to squawking sea gulls tearing apart the trash bags and spreading trash all over the campsite!
Jumping off the cliff into the ICE-COLD FREEZING water. Woo hoo! Go adrenalin!
Never having to take a shower! Washing faces in melted ice cooler water! Squeezing into a clammy wetsuit! Spam for breakfast!

Dancing down the trail from Inspiration Point carrying my AWESOME little ipod player and rocking out to the best in classic funky 70's rock... (Plug: iMainGo- I LOVE it! This little thing definitely proved it's worth this weekend- it held up to the dance party ALLNITELONG!!!)

And- most inspiring of all- after turning my ipod to a most romantic and beautiful love song by Barry White (You're my first, my last, my everything)... looking up from the beautiful sunset to see Ben proposing to his girlfriend on one knee, ring in hand... Unbelievable to have been a part of such a special moment...

The rest of the weekend was just a blur- there were sea lions coming up to sniff our boat- we paddled through caves and even rode a mini-wave through the point (although nothing as exciting as the story Julian kept telling about how he was riding waves on the kayak LAST year ;-p

And then returning home, layered with dirt and salt...

Not having to fully unpack or put stuff away immediately- PRICELESS!!!!

the moon again

the moon is full, it shines on the pacific ocean like a pathway to the santa monica pier as i drive from the palisades back home.

it steals my eyes from the road.

my body already feels light, muscles worn out and aching, because i've pushed them further than they wanted to go. but they feel happy now, whipped into shape and standing in line. tired and ready for dinner!

at home i'm packing and preparing for a camping and kayaking trip to the channel islands.